(Edible) Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Now, when I say that this cookie dough is edible, I mean it’s egg-free. Don’t get me wrong, but cookie dough with eggs is just as edible as cookie dough without. I eat raw eggs all the time! And, guess what?! I’m still alive, and without pain or regret. YAY! “Yay” for raw eggs!

Here’s the fantastically simple and easy recipe:

First beat the butter (softened is best) until creamy. I love creamy butter. It makes me want to go make a butter sculpture. Do you have these same drives? Really?! Ah, I feel much better now knowing that there are other weirdo’s in this world.

Cookie Dough Pancakes 1 - Cropped

Next dump in the white and brown sugar. Please measure before you dump the sugar in. I should really speak more literally.

Cookie Dough Pancakes 2 - Cropped

Then, beat the mixture until no butter chunks remain, and everything is fully mixed. Like so:

Psst… Does the saying “like so” drive you nuts? It does for me. I mean, come on! “Like so”? We couldn’t have thought of anything better? “So” sounds so uneducated. We use it for extremes (i.e., so uneducated), when we don’t know what to say (i.e., so… what have you been up to lately?), linking and making sentences flow (i.e., we went so that we could come here.), etc. But NOT to give examples! I am so sorry if I am boring you with my unrational logic.

Cookie Dough Pancakes 3 - Cropped

Now throw in the vanilla, salt, and flour. Oh, and please do not throw your food in, unless you’re willing to accept the challenge. Maybe you’re in a throw-the-flour-in-the-bowl-from-five-feet-away-without-getting-flour-on-the-floor team. I’ve heard of those; they sound interesting. I really admire those with that kind of skill (NOT!).

Beat the ingredients together until thoroughly mixed and resembles dry crumbs. Don’t worry; we’re not done yet. Your cookie dough isn’t going to be renamed as cookie crumbs.

Cookie Dough Pancakes 4 - Cropped

Now pour in a tablespoon of milk at a time to thicken it up, careful not to over moisten the crumbs. It only took about two to three tablespoons for me. But you guys might have store-bought milk. We’ve got fresh Jersey milk. You poor, poor, poor, store-bought milk people. You have no idea what you’re missing.

Cookie Dough Pancakes 5 - Cropped

Once you’ve reached the desired consistency with your dough, go ahead and add some add-ins. Mini chocolate chips (or any flavor for that matter) would be great for chocolate chip cookie dough, in case you didn’t know. Nuts, dried fruit, etc.; whatever you need to make the dough your own.

Now, take the bowl, walk to a room with a lock, and lock the door. After realizing you forgot a spoon, go ahead and use your grimy hands to shove the dough into your mouth. Now I will leave you here to figure how to hide what you’ve done. Trust me; cookie dough is so good that it’s SOOOO worth doing. Just please leave a comment in the comment box below and tell me how your cookie dough eating adventure went. It may provide quite a bit of entertainment for me. Thank you for your cooperation.

Here’s the recipe with the measurements (which I hope you do before you throw, wip, add, or anything else into the bowl) you’ve been waiting for!

(Edible) Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

1 c. butter, softened is best

1 c. white sugar

1 c. brown sugar, slightly packed

2 tsp. vanilla extract

1/2 tsp. salt

2 c. flour

1 – 4 Tbs. milk

1/2 c. chocolate chips, optional

How to Consume Properly:

1. Beat the butter until creamy.

2. Add the sugars and beat until well combined.

3. Add the vanilla, salt, and flour and beat until it resembles coarse crumbs.

4. Add the milk one tablespoon at a time until it reaches cooke dough consistency. It should end up only taking two to three tablespoons.

6. Gently stir in the chocolate chips, if desired,

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